my BIG baby...

So, Xander turned 4 years old today! Hold on...BOOOOOO HOOOOOO! Ok, I feel mildly better...not really, but I don't want this to be a "down" post so I will carry on. He had such a wonderful day. Well, really it all started last night when I got home from work he was all clean and cuddly in his pj's. I sat on the couch and he climbed in my lap and proceeded to squeeze me around the neck hugging and smelling me (if you knew Xander you would know that he smells things like normal people touch stuff) and telling me how much he loves me etc. I begged him to not turn 4 years old tomorrow "PLEASE just stay my baby, you are already almost too big for my lap" and on and on it went-my pleading and sobbing, that is. He finally reassured me "Don't worry Mommy I will stay 3 years old alllll night long. But tomorrow I am turning 4!" (shucks).

Then in the morning I had to work very early, so I picked him up out of MY bed (yes, he sneaked in there sometime between midnight and 2am) and tried to wish him a happy birthday. I carried him to the car and sang happy birthday, but to no avail. We had baked cinammon muffins to take to the sitter's for all of his friends so I heard later that he got a little candle in his muffin and all the kids sang to him and enjoyed the treat. Then Miss Sue gave him a gift of little monster trucks. When I got there he was passed out on the floor by the front door supposedly waiting for me to come get him and take him to his party! Once we got home he had a package to open from Great Grandma-a huge airplane to hang from the ceiling and a wallet filled with 4 one dollar bills! He LOVED it! We proceeded immediately to Toys R Us where he got the complimentary crown and balloon. After poring over the millions of toys, he finally settled on

Yep...more spongebob! Anyway, then we went to Red Robin where they sang to him and clapped and brought a sundae. He loved it and literally WOLFED his food down! He kept telling us how YUMMY it was! We came home and blew out the candles in his turtle brownies (per request) and then he opened a couple of presents (we saved most for his party on saturday). He got a Geo Trax train set

a new Game Cube game

and a controller too, since Lucy chewed up the extra one. Daddy and Xander proceeded to play play play the rest of the night. They played right through bath time even! I am going to have one dirty boy tomorrow!

4 years ago today:

I was scheduled to be induced at 7am. I was hooked up to the monitors and started on the meds. My labor was ridiculously easy b/c I was coerced into getting an epidural before I even started feeling contractions! BTW, the epidural was terrible! They had to pull it out and redo it twice and later I had a HUGE bruise and nerve pain for months. But regardless of that, the medicine kept me numb all the way until I was told I was 10cm (about 10pm!) and ready to push. When I heard that I pushed that dang epidural button (the one that keeps releasing the medicine) about 15 times and started to cry about how I couldn't push a baby out of my body and that I didn't really want to be here right now. But in the end he came out screaming at 10:24pm after only a few pushes. Literally when only his head was out of my body-they suctioned his mouth and he was screaming and trying to wriggle around while still half in my body-isn't that something out of the horror movies??? He was the loudest, reddest baby ever and even though I was COMPLETELY freaked out about what had just happened, I cried tears of joy that he was finally here-our baby boy that we had waited for so long! I will always remember Mark taking the baby after he was bundled and I was still being stitched etc. over to the rocking chair in the delivery room and just rocking and staring and crying...totally stunned that he was a daddy! It was a complete metamorphosis in the instant that Xander entered our lives. We both realized what our purpose was in this life-to raise this baby into a good person and help him become all that he dreams he wants to be!

Xander, you made me a mommy and no one can ever take that gift away. You are growing into the sweetest boy that I have ever seen. You ask me daily for a new baby to join our family and although we aren't quite ready for that yet, I know that you are dying to be a big brother again and have 8 siblings so that you can put them all in a circle and play duck duck goose! (Like on Jon and Kate Plus8) You have really started to take care of your sister and look out for her, like telling her when things are hot or ouchy. It warms my heart to see you kiss and hug her and make sure she is ok when she gets boo-boos. I love to tuck you in at night and rub your baby bottom first thing in the morning, because I know that it won't be very much longer until you will be embarrassed that you ever let your mom do such a thing :) I love you to the very depths of my core and I will always support you by being the best mommy I can! Thank you for being my baby! Happy birthday booger boy!